Destination: Ultimately Hell given the intention.

Summer, it's not been great so far. High winds, cloudy skies, torrential rain and snow on the peaks. It's very much like an English summer right now.

Finding myself with a day off, I needed to do something. A lay in was first on the list, followed by a healthy breakfast of bacon and eggy bread, and then a trip to the British Lolly Shop. And then armed with Jelly Tots, Kola Cubes, Chocolate Raisins and a basic knowledge of the reasonably local area, the young lady and I set off for the afternoon in the direction of Cromwell.

The reason for this mini road-trip, the destination we were set for, had been found while idly browsing google maps. It was a small town on the north end of Lake Dunstan. It was to be a day of epic proportions. My camera was fully charged, the excitement in the car was palpable.

However, the day was to be a large disappointment. We got there to find there was no town. It was on the map for Christs sake, why could we not find it? It seems the research should have stretched to more than just looking at a map. Zooming in further I would have seen there was no actual town there, no houses, no local shop, no civilization whatsoever. In fact, researching further would have shown me that it isn't in a town at all, it's a locality. There wasn't even a welcome sign.

My dreams were crushed. I was deflated in the car on the way back. No amount of Jelly Tot sugar could rescue me from this massive crash. We stopped at Warehouse on the way back, and I walked up and down the toy aisles, but this still didn't bring me up at all.

It's probably a good thing, I guess I am a little too old to be stood under the welcome sign making my best mong face.

Recent things I have seen that more than make up for this are:

• A giant scarecrow and accompanying motorcycle made from scrap metal on the way to and from the mythical Crippletown
• A guy on a bicycle getting towed by a car uphill by holding onto the passenger door, exactly like the ride Brand got from Troy in the Goonies
• Three guys, obviously on a road/camping trip, under a bus shelter in the rain with a cooking stove slicing onions on the pavement.

Next entry may be more mature. It may even be longer. Don't hold your breath, I is well lazy, innit.